


Growing on You, Like a Flower. Or a Fungus.

by sleepypoet



Category: Slipknot (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Library, Bullying, Chris is kind of a dick but only internally, College, Essays, Falling In Love, First Kiss, Friendship, Fundraisers, Hippie!Sid Wilson, Judgment, Late Night Conversations, Librarian!Sid Wilson, M/M, Nature, Protectiveness, Protests, Teen Romance, Teenagers, Walks In The Woods, construction work, strangers to friends to boyfriends
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-13
Updated: 2021-03-21
Packaged: 2021-03-21 15:34:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,480
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30023937
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sleepypoet/pseuds/sleepypoet
Summary: Further down the desk sits a young boy, somewhere around Chris’ age, he assumes. His bare feet are propped up and he’s leaning back in his chair, book open in his hands. His hair is messy and ratty, brown curls sitting on his shoulders. His blue overalls make him look something of a dirty farmer, white shirt wrinkled and stained.Immediately, Chris knows who he’s definitelynotgoing to talk to.
Relationships: Chris Fehn/Sid Wilson
Comments: 6
Kudos: 5





	1. Monday

**Author's Note:**

> so once upon a time I got this idea, right. and it went something like "ok. librarian sid." 
> 
> and you know. 
> 
> since then i've just been trying to make it happen, and it's FINALLY HAPPENING. 
> 
> I'm pretty excited for this story, and I hope y'all are too. so here goes!!

Someone’s talking, and quite frankly, Chris is not listening. He knows he should be, he’s the one spending money on this stupid ecology class, but for the life of him he can’t seem to figure out _why_. Something about needing a degree. But for what? What’s he even gonna do with it? Get a low paying job and regret the next 10 years of student debt? 

But, it’s too late to drop out. He’s already almost finished with this semester, then he’ll be out, and he’ll be moving onto his second year of college. So not really _out_ , just finished. But not even fully finished. He still has so many classes to pass, it feels never-ending. 

Anyway. The window he’s looking out is awfully interesting. Well, not so much the window, but what’s happening on the other side of it. There’s a bird nest perched on a tree, and where Chris’ desk is located, he has a great view of it. A perfect view. Perfect for staring and daydreaming and not paying attention to class. A good distraction from the droning voice of his professor and sparse chatter of his classmates.

The bird nest. There’s an egg in there. And every once in a while, Chris has noticed, the mother will fly over to check up on it. She’s a little grey finch, with pretty spots on her head and back that look like freckles. Chris doesn’t really care much for birds, but this one is nice. 

Past the tree is a courtyard, littered with wandering students and decorated with bushes and benches. There’s a fountain in the center. Lots of coins in there. And the occasional freshman, too, if they’re part of a fraternity. Some sort of initiation, Chris guesses. Thankfully Chris never thought to join one. He figured he wouldn’t enjoy it much, what with all the Chads and Kyles squandering about, with their weird accents and identical white boy traits. He’s never been into that scene. Which is ironic, because you know, his name is Chris, which really makes it sound like he’d be pretty into getting shitfaced every Saturday night, or just any day of the week. But that’s not his thing. Definitely not, never will be.

Then his attention snaps back to his professor, at the word “essay.” Which Chris usually would be fine with, under normal circumstances, but this is a class that he isn’t all that confident in. Therefore, an essay sounds like hell. Literal hell. 

He attempts to make his brain zero in on what the guy is saying, but it’s hard when he’s half asleep and currently running off one cup of coffee and a piece of bread. Not even toast. Just bread. 

And it’s in that moment when Chris realizes he has no idea what he’s going to do for his essay, which really isn’t ideal because this one is supposedly a big deal. As in, it determines whether you pass the class or not. Better yet, you get to choose your own topic to write about. Lovely. Because yeah, Chris is just so totally into ecology, and he can so totally come up with something like that on a whim. Yup. He can do that.

_Not._

And it sucks. Because as he looks around to gauge the reactions of his classmates, to see if they’re freaking out just as bad as he is, they all look fucking _thrilled_ , as if this is just the best news they could have gotten. _Fucking, hippies_ , Chris thinks to himself. _They’re all a bunch of weird ass hippies who’d probably fuck a tree if they could. Earth lovers._

For the third time this week, Chris tries to remind himself why he signed up for this class. Joey had said it was supposed to be easy. Joey can go fuck himself, he was super wrong about that, it’s only an easy class if you actually _enjoy_ it. Chris clearly does not enjoy it. 

So now he’s sitting here, feeling out of place and kind of hopeless because, you know. Ecology. Essay. Passing this class. Fuck. 

It’s not like he’s _failing_ , per say. Just almost failing. It’s like, a C minus. Not so bad. But could be better. It _will_ be better, if he can just pass this final. Can’t be too hard, right? 

That’s what he tries to tell himself, at least.

And then everyone around Chris is suddenly packing up their stuff, a cacophony of backpacks zipping and rustling papers filling the large room. He’s not totally surprised he had zoned out for practically the entire class, though he is a little disappointed in himself. He’s been trying to pick up his grade to at least a B, but it’s proving to be somewhat of a difficult task. 

The logical side of Chris says to speak with his professor and maybe get some advice, a few tips, but the overwhelming majority of his brain says to just follow the rest of his classmates out the door. 

_I don’t need any help, I’ll be fine._

Chris is stubborn. As in, he doesn’t like asking people for assistance. Even if it’s from his teacher, and even if he desperately needs all the help he can get. He just doesn’t want to seem stupid. Even though failing this class would be very stupid... He’d rather just fail than ask for help. Clearly, his priorities are not quite where they should be.

But does he care?

A little bit, maybe. But not enough to really do anything about it.

So he descends the classroom steps and brushes past his professor, just happy to finally be out, ready to spend the rest of his day to his own leisure. The cold white walls of the school feel almost unwelcoming as Chris makes his way towards the double doors, leading out to the courtyard. The building itself is fine— it’s just that Chris doesn’t ever feel like he really belongs here. Everyone seems to have their own little clique, whether it’s with the jocks or the preps or the artsy kids, or those tree huggers who mainly crowd themselves in Chris’ ecology class. No group really feels _right_ , but maybe that’s just his own fault for not putting in the actual effort to make connections with people. Maybe he just needs to try and speak up for once. 

But then there’s always the possibility of being rejected, which seems to constantly be holding Chris back. People are unwelcoming, and frankly, Chris is awkward and quite uncharismatic. Making friends has never really been his strong suit. 

And maybe he’s a little envious of those frat boys after all, as they’re always out partying and drinking with absolutely no shame in their game, clearly just enjoying themselves. Outgoing, optimistic, extroverted and popular. All the things that Chris is not. 

He walks through the courtyard, past the hedges and trees and around the fountain. Past the lovey dovey couples and clusters of students, past and through the front gate. 

Aaannnddd… breathe. _Phew_. It feels nice to be out of there. So many people, twice as many eyes. Even though no one bothers ever giving him a second glance, Chris can’t help but feel as though his classmates are watching his every move. It’s all in his head, he tries to tell himself. He’s just being self conscious. He _is_ , really.

Chris strolls towards where his car is located, thankful for the on campus parking, as he’s really not in the mood to walk a mile to the nearest parking lot in town. The heat of an Iowan summer beats down on his head and down his neck and back, so he sticks to the edge of the sidewalk where trees are lined up, arching their wooden limbs and acting as umbrellas. Though his car remains unprotected from the relentless sun, and once he finally tumbles in, it feels like a sauna. But not in a good way. It’s all stuffy and thick with hours of sunlight trapped inside. Chris switches on the AC and rolls his window down, so it doesn’t feel like he’s breathing in sweaty oxygen. 

He’d been planning on simply heading straight back to his dorm to waste the day away, but it’s only 12 in the afternoon. And usually Chris wouldn’t really care, but he does in fact have an essay to work on. And if high school had taught him anything, it was that procrastinating on finals was not a particularly great strategy for passing classes. So that leaves him with a few options to choose from: go back to his dorm and not worry about it, or actually do something productive with all this time on his hands. The second option does sound nice, Chris notes. But then that leaves him wondering where he can actually _go_ to work on his essay. 

Then he remembers that little library further into town, the one he’s never bothered to go check out because he never really reads, like, at all. Books are boring. _I ain’t no nerd_ , he’d say to himself. But, maybe in this situation he doesn’t really have much of a choice. Sure, there’s always the internet, you can find _lots_ of great stuff from google, but… perhaps a book with actual reliable information may be the better route to take this time. There’s nothing more embarrassing than failing a paper because literally everything you wrote was wrong, _fucking wikipedia, shit’s so stupid_. Chris still holds a grudge against that website, he hasn’t forgotten the F it gave him on that 9th grade research paper. 

So with the AC blowing on full blast, Chris pulls out of his parking spot and drives into town, heading for the library. _The nerd hangout._ Chris snorts. 

(He really doesn’t have the right to be judging so many people, but he still does anyway. Makes him feel better about himself. It’s that selfish way of thinking, putting people down for stupid reasons because it makes him feel better about his own flaws.)

(I mean. Let’s be real. His social skills are sitting at a maximum of 0 on a scale of 1-10, but Chris still likes to think he’s better than most folk. It’s ironic, really. He’s so scared of being judged, but judging is all he ever seems to do.)

He passes by his dormitory on the way, as well a few hangouts and a local park. Nothing he hasn’t seen before, though he’s only been through this side of town a handful of times. It’s a rather small area, but just by the looks of it, Chris can tell the place has a nice community. There’s vendors on the side of the street selling little trinkets and jewelry, and families can be seen out and about. Some people are walking dogs or pushing strollers, others popping in and out of shops with bags in their hands. _Must be the shopping district_ , he thinks to himself.

Chris is still relatively new to the area, given it’s only his first year living here. Maybe some exploring wouldn’t hurt. But he’ll have to save it for another time, as he’s still trying to find his way to the library. 

Making a left turn, he scans the buildings and finds what he’s looking for. It’s a rather... unimpressive library, the red brick seemingly wore out and the wooden front door slightly faded of color. There’s little flower boxes underneath the windowsills, and a few green vines climbing up the walls. It’s oddly welcoming though, which makes Chris feel a little better. _Maybe this’ll be worth it._

After finding a spot to park on the curb, Chris fumbles out of his car and shoves his keys into his pockets, along with his two hands. Live music can be heard coming from where Chris had just passed a few minutes ago, somewhere close to the street vendors. He’d stop by to check it out but he’s already here at the library, so it can wait. Maybe for a day when he doesn’t have any plans. 

He walks up the cement steps and opens the door, hinges creaking as it swings inward, drawing a few curious eyes towards him. He awkwardly steps in and shuts the door promptly behind himself, not wishing to draw anymore attention. The inside of the building is admittedly not as bad as Chris had been expecting. He isn’t sure exactly what he’d been expecting, but it’s somewhat of a pleasant surprise. Gentle sunlight flows into the room, giving it a natural feeling. To the left of Chris, rows of bookshelves sit undisturbed, and somewhat daunting in his eyes. He doesn’t even know specifically what he’s looking for, just something about ecology. To his right is the front desk where an old woman resides, currently busy typing away on a computer. Further down the desk sits a young boy, somewhere around Chris’ age, he assumes. His bare feet are propped up and he’s leaning back in his chair, book open in his hands. His hair is messy and ratty, brown curls sitting on his shoulders. His blue overalls make him look something of a dirty farmer, white shirt wrinkled and stained.

Immediately, Chris knows who he’s definitely _not_ going to talk to.

The deafening silence makes him uneasy, so he opts to hide away in the many rows of books, blindly browsing for something that may help him with his essay. The nonfiction section feels like the most sensible place to look, so he starts there. Though as he finds his way along the wooden shelf, nothing seems to be standing out. He’d been hoping that he’d be able to immediately find what he needs, and Chris disappointedly begins to realize that this search may take longer than he had anticipated. 

There’s plenty of history books, and a few ones about random countries or whatnot, but nothing Chris needs. He considers just leaving and going back to his dorm, but then that’d be giving up, and Chris doesn’t quite like the sound of that. So he resumes his hunt as quietly as he can, not wanting to disturb anyone. 

“Hey there.”

Chris nearly jumps out of his skin at the sudden break of silence. The voice came from his left, and he looks at the kid with wide eyes. _How did I not hear him coming?_

It’s the same guy from earlier, the weird one with the overalls and tangled hair. He still isn’t wearing any shoes, Chris notices. 

The teen laughs at Chris’ reaction, breaking into a toothy grin. “Sorry, did I scare you?”

Chris shakes his head no, clearly fibbing. “Nah, I was just kinda caught up in my head, I guess.”

He then looks away from the pair of blue-green eyes, instead focusing back on the books in front of him. _The hell does this guy want?_

The air grows silent again for a few seconds, and Chris is thankful for that. Part of him feels embarrassed just being in this guy’s presence, as if his precious reputation would be completely ruined if someone saw Chris talking to him. _Hillbilly lookin’ ass._

“You seem kinda lost.”

Slight annoyance bubbles in Chris’ chest at the remark. _Can this guy just fucking. Leave me alone._

Chris shrugs. He can feel the kid eyeing him over, as if attempting to get a read on him. It makes him uncomfortable. 

He only questions further. “What are you looking for?”

_So the guy is persistent._ Well, so is Chris. He shrugs again, trying to get the point across that he clearly isn’t interested in the small talk. 

“You working on school stuff?”

This causes Chris to quirk an eyebrow. The kid’s sharp, he has to admit.

Caving in a bit, he turns to look at him again. “Yeah, I am, actually. How’d you know?”

This causes the younger to smile, the corner of his lips slightly perking up. “You get good at reading folks after a while. So what’s the project?”

“Five page essay, for my ecology class.”

The teen whistles, eyebrows shooting up. “Sounds like a lot. Glad I didn't sign up for college.”

Chris shrugs for the third time, not really appreciating the pity. “It’s really not that bad.” He’s lying through his teeth, but it’s better than admitting he’s totally clueless on what to do.

“I’ve learned all I need to know on my own, I never saw the point in blowing money on school.”

That causes something a bit more than just annoyance to run through Chris’ veins. This guy’s seriously beginning to piss him off. He can’t tell if it’s on purpose or not, but Chris doesn’t want to assume incorrectly and be rude, even if part of him is tempted to snap back with a cheeky comment of his own.

“But, if you need any help, just let me know. Name’s Sidney, but you can just call me Sid. There’s a few good academic studies in the back, by the way. Might have better luck over there.”

Then he turns on his heel and walks off, leaving Chris slightly aggravated, but thankful for the direction. Though he won’t admit that last part to himself. Instead he just shoves his hands in his pockets again and heads towards the back.

And yeah, he actually does end up finding some books that would help him with his essay. He picks out two thick books from the shelf, only briefly flipping through the pages before stuffing them under his arm to check out. 

His footsteps echo through the library on the wooden floor, and he eyes Sid for a moment before deciding to speak with the older woman instead. 

Before she can stop to look up at Chris, Sid’s already hollering for him on the far end of the desk. “I can ring you up over here!”

_Sigh._

The lady smiles at Chris and tells him to go ahead, and Chris sees that there’s no other option. Begrudgingly, he drags himself towards Sid’s station. He’s surrounded by little potted succulents of all sorts, and there’s stacks of books scattered about. A few spare papers and pencils are mixed in with the mess as well.

Sid eyes his books of choice, and Chris’ face flushes in embarrassment, suddenly self conscious. 

“These ones are pretty advanced,” he comments offhandedly.

_Was that meant to be an insult?_

Chris scans the teen’s face for any sort of malicious intent, but he doesn’t see any. He’s just scanning the barcodes on the books, seemingly oblivious to the rude tone of his statement. 

Chris scratches the back of his neck awkwardly. “I’ll be fine…”

Sid casts a glance up at him. “Sure, but you know, if you do end up needing any help-”

“I’ll be fine,” he retorts stubbornly.

The brunette studies him for the second time, then just shakes his head and laughs. “I’m just saying! I’m pretty well studied in this subject. I can always help you out.”

Chris doesn’t say anything after that. He seriously doubts the kid. He hasn’t taken any college courses, and looks as if he’s just gotten out of high school.

As if sensing Chris’ doubt, Sid pipes up again. “No, really! I’ve read a lot on ecology, you have no idea, man.”

Still not totally sold on the offer, Chris grunts in response. He’s certain he’ll be able to learn more from an actual book than some random no shoe-wearing hippie at his local library.

Sid hands over the books with a toothy grin after stamping them. “Before you head out, would you wanna donate to the local park? It’s for a good cause, they’re gonna shut it down soon and some other people and I wanna save it. I'd really hate to see it go...”

He looks at Chris with hopeful eyes, holding up a jar full of change and a few dollar bills. But Chris doesn’t really feel like giving out his money to some cause that he really doesn’t care about. 

“Uh, I don’t have any spare change on me, sorry.”

Which was a total lie, but what else is he gonna say? He might not like the guy, but he’s not gonna be a dick to him.

Sid shrugs. “No worries. It’s cool. Tell your friends about it, though! I’ll need all the help I can get!”

But Chris is already halfway across the room, heading towards the door. Without looking back, he replies with a quick “sure thing,” and hurries on out. Obviously he’s not actually going to, because that’d be weird. He just, _really_ doesn’t care enough about some random park to tell anyone about it.

Back in his dorm, he dumps his books on the desk in his bedroom and flops backwards onto his bed. He’s not really in the mood to begin working, almost dreading the amount of work he has to do. _Save it for tomorrow_.

A familiar face pokes around his door frame, raising a black eyebrow at him questioningly. “Where the hell were you? Thought we were ‘spossed to play Xbox when your class was over.”

 _Ah, shit_.

“Oh- right, sorry, I forgot. Had to stop by the library to pick stuff up.”

His roommate snorts. “ _Nerd_.” 

Chris smiles and chucks a pillow at him. “Maybe I just don’t wanna fail this stupid final,” he retorts defensively.

The black haired male quickly dodges the flying object, laughing. “Whatever, man. You still wanna play?”

“‘Course I do. It’s a known fact that Joey can’t win any battles when playing solo…”

Suddenly, the pillow he threw just a few seconds ago comes back twice as fast, slamming into his face with an unexpected amount of force.

“Shut the fuck up, I have more wins than you do-”

Chris yanks the pillow off his face. “Yeah, thanks to me-”

Joey storms down the hall, shouting playful profanities at him. Chris chuckles and rolls out of his bed, leaving his room to meet up with Joey in front of the TV. Completely forgetting about his essay. 

_It’ll be fine, it’s just 5 pages. Can’t be so hard._

He’ll work on it tomorrow, he decides.


	2. Tuesday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHAT'S UP I'M BACK WITH ANOTHER CHAPTER
> 
> I really cannot tell whether this story is a massive dumpster fire or if it's doing fine like I just cannot
> 
> ENJOY <3

Chris is laying stomach down on his bed with his laptop open, currently holding a staredown with a blank document. At this point it’d be an achievement to type at _least_ one sentence. Just _one_. But no, it seems he isn’t even able to do that, as he’s totally fucking lost and those stupid academic studies he’d picked up the day before aren’t helping. Not one bit. He’d thumbed through the pages with great effort, but to his dismay, Sid had been right about them being a bit advanced. _Far_ too advanced for Chris’ vocabulary. And he absolutely hates admitting it. 

It’s 9 in the morning. He has all day to work on this. Two weeks, actually. But he knows two weeks will turn into two hours before he even knows it, so he’s trying to tackle it head on before the deadline can come around and bite him in the ass. 

Sadly, Beastie Boys is not motivating Chris the way they should be. Usually that’s his go-to band for projects, just to help him focus and get stuff done, but this time it’s just really not doing much of anything. That’s when Chris knows it’s bad. He still doesn’t even know what topic to choose, there’s a lot to choose from but somehow Chris can’t come up with anything he’d feel confident writing about. 

He bows his head in his hands and drags his fingers through his short hair, letting out a frustrated groan. _This is the actual worst._

Chris closes the tab and pauses his music, rolling onto his back to stare up at his decorated ceiling. Band posters and sport stickers look down at him, almost condescendingly. A pitiful reminder of the kid he used to be in high school, goofing off and going to concerts, spending money on collecting worthless things like baseball cards and whatnot. And now he can’t really do any of that, as he doesn’t have the money to spend anymore, or the time, or even the willpower to get out and actually do something _fun_. Nowadays he just kinda bums around and wonders why exactly he’s taking these college courses. 

That’s the kind of stuff he doesn’t really like thinking about, but he knows he won’t be able to ignore those thoughts forever. Eventually he’ll need to figure out where his life is going. 

Just… not today. Not right now. Not when he already has so much on his plate at the moment. 

Like this stupid essay that he hates oh so much. And these stupid books that are laughing at him, taunting him for not understanding what the hell they even mean. And Chris guesses that yeah, the concepts being written about would probably be a heck of a lot easier to understand if Chris had just paid attention in class. But of course he didn’t, never really did for most of the year. ADHD is a hell of a drug. Not only that, but Chris happens to have a severe case of the fuck-its. Not such a great combination.

Getting some fresh air might help, he thinks to himself. Maybe he just needs to step outside for a bit and get some natural sunlight, something to fuel his brain other than the countless cups of caffeine currently bouncing around in his nervous system. 

Chris sits upright and throws on a probably clean t-shirt laying at the foot of his bed, changing his sweats out for something a little more fitting for a hot summer day. Baggy jean shorts do the trick just fine. 

He finds his way out of his bedroom and into the hallway, heading towards the living room to look for his shoes. Though he only succeeds in finding a very bored Joey sprawled out on the couch, scrolling through his phone. Joey glances at him and then back at his screen. And Chris could have _swore_ Joey was in class right now.

“You skipping?”

Joey shrugs. “Not in the mood to get up today.”

Chris hums in acknowledgment. That’s not to say he thinks it’s a good idea to skip classes, but he certainly understands the lack of motivation. Joey’s majoring in some sort of art, graphic design, if Chris recalls correctly. Whatever it is, it’s probably easier than what Chris is doing if Joey can get away with skipping and still be passing.

“You seen my shoes anywhere?”

Joey casts his eyes towards the front door and Chris takes the hint, twisting himself around to where his Adidas are located. Mumbling out a thanks, he walks over to slide them on. And as he tries to figure out whether to take his phone or not, he catches Joey giving him a funny look from across the room.

“What? Somethin’ on my face?”

Joey shakes his head, setting his phone to the side. “Nah, you just don’t usually go out so early. What’s the occasion?”

Chris shrugs. “Can’t focus, need to take a walk or something…”

The teen grins at him. “What, you’re really worried about that essay? Man, it’s due in like, two weeks. You got time.”

“I just wanna get it over with,” he responds, finally deciding to just leave his phone here. “I’ll be back in a few minutes, hopefully you can bear my absence of presence for that long…”

Joey huffs exasperatedly. “Fuck off, you’re such a narcissist sometimes!”

Chris only laughs as he strides out the door. Him and Joey have been close since high school; playful banter is pretty much their trademark. Though Joey has always been different from Chris, in the sense that he’s a lot more social. And… very blunt. Never really thinks twice about what he says, which more often than not gets him into quite a bit of trouble. Chris recalls the time in sophomore year of high school when Joey had mouthed off to some junior. Things _would_ have gotten nasty if Chris hadn’t stepped in, though Joey never seemed to learn his lesson.

He exits the dormitory building, still not sure where exactly he plans to wander off to. Morning sunlight beams down gently, tickling Chris’ neck and arms as he walks. For a few minutes he idly strolls, watching as passersby come and go. He wonders what their lives look like. _Where are they going? What are they doing?_

Campus isn’t very busy today- not at this hour, at least. He keeps on trucking down the sidewalk, focusing on his breathing. Clearing his mind, hitting the reset button. Hoping that by the time he gets back to his dorm, he’ll be in a better state to write.

A static-y voice rings out from afar, perking Chris’ attention. It seems to be coming from where he’d driven to just the day before, the place with all those little shops and vendors, and that one park he’d passed by. Figuring he has plenty of time for a detour, Chris continues following the direction of the noise, until he’s off campus and slowly approaching the shopping district. 

The park is smack dab in the middle of town, and it seems to be where most activity happens. Whether it’s some yoga class or some kids playing on the playground, or people walking their dogs or feeding squirrels or _whatever_ it is that they do, the park is definitely a popular place to be. As he walks along the dark iron fencing, a particularly large sign catches Chris’ eye.

**ATTENTION!**  
**THIS RESERVE WILL BE CLOSED FOR CONSTRUCTION BEGINNING ON 7/1/21**  
**WE APOLOGIZE FOR THE SHORT-TERM INCONVENIENCE**

The last line strikes something of amusement in Chris. If the park is going to be shutting down completely, wouldn’t it be a bit more than a “short-term” inconvenience? 

So it only makes sense that the park is where the loud voice had been coming from. Chris lingers on the sidewalk, curiously eyeing a semicircle of people, seemingly listening to some sort of announcement. Or a speech, maybe? Either way, Chris is hesitant to actually enter the reserve to investigate. That’s a _lot_ of people. So from his spot behind the park’s gate, he just watches, scanning the area for whoever may be in charge of this rally.

And right there, smack dab in the middle of the crowd, is _him_. The guy. The dude. The library kid. The curly haired, overall wearing, stained shirt having, Sid. He’s standing up on a box, megaphone in hand, with a big, toothy smile on his face. 

Chris hopes his presence can remain unnoticed.

Sid’s suddenly speaking again, voice ringing out loud and clear for everyone to hear. And as Chris had guessed, it’s a speech. About the upcoming construction, to be exact. And how it’s important for everyone to, “come together and protest this act of violence against nature.”

So, nothing Chris is really interested to stick around and listen to. 

But something keeps him there, stuck to the sidewalk like glue. Watching through the iron fence as Sid gives his speech. Chris has to admit, the guy has _balls_ , being able to speak so confidently. Passionately. To rile people up and really get them _feeling_. And maybe it starts to get Chris feeling a bit as well, the way Sid’s eyes seem to shine, the way he expresses himself with so much animation, gesturing with extra emphasis. 

While he speaks, Chris takes the time to examine the park from the outside. There’s not much, but it’s lush with trees and hedges. There’s a main brick pathway that leads all the way to the other side of the park, and a few sparse benches and picnic tables placed about. A playground sits somewhere on the far right, and a mini soccer field on the left. Large oak trees twist and bend their benches above the area, leaves so abundant it’s practically like a ceiling covering the lot. 

When Chris focuses his attention back to Sid, he finds blue-green eyes looking right back at him. His heart skips a beat at the sudden recognition. 

Sid smiles and waves him over, but Chris doesn’t move. He _can’t_. He feels caught like a deer in headlights. A few people from the crowd turn to look, curious as to what has Sid distracted, and Chris’ face heats up with all the eyes on him. And a few of the faces are recognizable. As in, faces from his ecology class. 

This… cannot be happening. He hadn’t been expecting to see people he actually _knew_ , and somehow that only makes matters so much worse.

So instead, Chris just turns around and ducks his head, walking back to his dorm as if nothing had happened at all.

The way back feels a lot longer that it should have. It’s _hot_ , and mainly an uphill stroll. So not a good time, considering Chris is still recovering from a fiery hot wave of embarrassment. 

I mean, he hadn’t _meant_ to just stand there and mindlessly watch, he was just bored. And a little curious. And he’d been hoping that he’d be able to remain simply a spectator. Not to be called out like that, out of the blue. Even if he hadn’t really been called out, he was still _recognized_ , and for whatever reason, that bothers Chris.

He hikes up the dormitory steps until he reaches his floor, sighing with relief as he finds his door and piles inside. The air conditioning feels like heaven. 

Naturally, Joey is in his usual spot on the couch, though instead of being on his phone, he’s currently playing a losing game of Black Ops. He looks over at Chris for a split second.

“Dude, you were gone for like, an _hour_. What the hell were you doing?”

Chris grunts. “Went into town… some kid was holding a rally at the park, decided to check it out.”

He kicks off his shoes and makes his way into the kitchen, filling up a glass with tap water. Joey hums. “Was it that one kid? Y’know, the guy with the hair? Kinda like, always dirty?”

Chris snorts. “He has a _name_ -”

And then he immediately regrets saying it, as Joey turns around to give him a quizzical look. “What, you know that guy?”

For a moment Chris isn’t sure how he wants to respond, whether he wants to admit that yes, they’ve talked before, or to just play dumb. 

Chris shrugs. “I mean… I know his name, at least.” Then he quickly adds, “We’re not friends or anything like that. He’s _weird_.”

To that, Joey laughs. “Yeah, ok, _good_. That guy just rubs me the wrong way, he’s kinda annoying, you know?”

Something inside Chris twists in his gut. He just nods, not really wanting to say much.

Joey continues on, now facing the TV again. “Like, I dunno, I think his little ‘rallies’ are dumb. What does he think it’s gonna do? Save the planet? Honestly, he's gotta grow up. Find something better to do with his life.”

And maybe it was the tone of his voice, or maybe it was simply what Joey was saying, but something about it makes Chris’ hand tense up around his glass of water. “C’mon, Jo. Yeah, he’s kinda… out there, but you don’t gotta be a dick.”

Joey huffs. “Whatever you say, man. I just think he’d be better off finding a new hobby… he’s wasting his time on stupid shit. And I know other people agree with me, I’ve _heard_ people at school talkin’ about him.”

Chris finds himself wanting to retort with something, but he isn’t sure _why_. He doesn’t know Sid, and Joey has been his closest friend for the longest time now. Why is he wanting to defend this guy so bad? 

Chris sighs. “I guess so.”

He downs his water and leaves the glass on the counter, trudging back to his room without another word. He’d almost forgotten the entire reason he’d left to go out on a walk in the first place, until an open laptop laying on his bed reminded him of his essay. And Chris groans, as he’s just wasted an hour of his time. Time that he could have spent, y’know, being productive. He settles on the edge of his bed, falling back onto the thick comforter, staring up at the ceiling for the second time today. Just… totally brain dead, it feels like.

But then Chris thinks about something that he really wishes he _didn’t_ have to think about. Brains are always doing that stuff. Just bringing up shit that really does not need to be brought up. Said shit being Sid, and the guilt currently pooling in Chris’ chest because of him. 

_I could have at least, fuckin’, waved at him, or something. Or even smiled, at least._

Because yeah, maybe ignoring him hadn’t really been the best route to take? And on top of that, hearing Joey talk like that about Sid… almost makes Chris feel _pity_. He shouldn’t care, he doesn’t _want_ to care, but he still does. He might be a bit judgmental, and a bit of an ass sometimes, but he’s not a complete douchebag. Or at least, he tries not to be. Tries to show at least a little human decency. Unlike some people.

And he _knows_ he won’t be able to live with himself after what happened earlier. Not until he has at least some sort of closure, whether it’s an apology or even simply seeing Sid again, just something that won’t leave their relationship off on that note. Even if he doesn’t even know the guy that well. It just won’t feel right.

But the essay is calling out to him, begging for Chris to get at least something typed out, even if it's just a single word. 

So Chris can wait. Chris can definitely wait, he can put off going down to the library to apologize, he and his impatient self can do that.

Chris has figured out that he in fact, cannot wait. Not another minute. For two hours now, he’s been staring at his computer screen. Looking up topics to write about. Thinking, reading, researching. But he just can’t _focus_. Can’t find it in himself to write anything worth reading, worth a passing grade. Worth passing the _class_. And he knows why, he knows exactly why. He’s got a funny feeling in his chest. A feeling that’s directed specifically at his local librarian, his local tree hugger, the town oddball. And Chris hates it. Hates that he feels bad. But he also hates feeling like a dick. 

So really he has no choice in this. None at all. He doesn’t choose to pick up those books he checked out, he doesn’t choose to put on his shoes, he doesn’t choose to unlock his car and drive into town. He _has_ to. That’s just how it is.

What he’s gonna do is he’s gonna turn the books back in. And then he’ll inevitably see Sid at the library, and he’ll talk to him then. Clear things up, let him know that he’s sorry. 

But this isn’t for Sid’s sake. It’s for Chris’ sake. He just doesn’t want to be the bad guy in this situation.

His car slows to a stop and he reaches over to grab the books stacked in his passenger’s seat. He’s admittedly a little nervous, though he tries to remind himself that it’s really no big deal, at all. He’s just gotta get in, return the books, speak with Sid, and move on with his life. Forget that he ever met him. Easy. Simple. Nothing to freak out about.

The sun is high in the sky, almost perfectly above Chris’ head. He walks up those cement steps and opens the creaky wooden door, and the all-too familiar silence washes over him as he steps inside. His eyes find Sid’s little station, and he mentally has to ready himself before making his way over to the young man. 

Sid hasn’t noticed him enter, as he’s currently engrossed in some sort of novel. 

_Or maybe he’s just ignoring you. An eye for an eye?_

The thought sends a new wave of anxiety through Chris’ chest and for a minute he falters, unsure of whether Sid even wants to see him or not. Maybe he should have considered that before driving all the way out here.

But it’s too late for second thoughts, isn’t it?

Taking a deep breath, Chris slides his books down the counter until he’s face to face with Sid. The main target of his lack of concentration. The reason any of this is happening in the first place. Sid looks up at Chris, expression practically unreadable. Chris can’t tell whether he’s smug or annoyed or simply bored or maybe even all three of those, but that doesn’t stop him from clearing his throat and speaking up.

“Uh, hey. Stopped by to return these…”

Sid’s expression turns into something of amusement, and he sets his book to the side. “Already?”

Chris blushes. He really hadn’t been expecting Sid to give him a hard time. “Well…” 

_You know what? Fuck it, just be honest._

“Ok, look, dude. These books kinda did nothing for me. And I’m mainly here to just, you know…”

Sid cuts him off, waving his hand nonchalantly. “Hey, it’s cool. No worries. Not everyone sees the world the way I do. You don’t gotta pretend to care.”

Chris almost falls flat on his ass at the words. Nothing else is said. Sid looks at him, as if expecting Chris to simply walk off without another word. Chris doesn’t. He stays, eyes searching Sid’s face for any sort of explanation.

He guesses his expression is able to show most of how he feels, as Sid gives him a small smile that doesn’t quite feel as genuine as his other ones had been. “You don’t care about the park. That’s fine, I won’t hold it against you. You really don’t need to apologize.”

Chris’ mouth opens abruptly, then closes. He really doesn’t know how to respond. Because in all honesty, Sid isn’t _wrong_. He’s actually pretty spot on.

He laughs awkwardly, hand coming up to rub the back of his neck. “You… really weren’t kidding when you said you’re good at reading folks.”

Sid shrugs. Chris really doesn’t want the conversation to just end like this. He came here for closure, for a happy ending that’ll leave him feeling satisfied and _not_ guilty. And this is doing… quite the opposite. Chris glances at the tip jar. It’s gotten noticeably fuller, he notes.

“So uh, your fundraiser has been doing pretty good…”

Sid nods. “Yeah, it has. Lotta people donated today.”

Silence. Chris wonders if this is his que to offer a donation. Sid doesn’t seem like he’s asking, but it’s the right thing to do, isn’t it?

“It’s a nice park.”

Sid raises an eyebrow at Chris. “You think so?”

Chris’ hand is fumbling in his pocket for his wallet. “Yeah, I do.”

He slides a 5 dollar bill into the tip jar, attempting to look cool about it. Like it’s no big deal, like it’s something he’d do any day of the week. 

Looking back at Sid, the boy almost seems impressed. Chris can tell he’s holding back a smile. “You really didn’t have to do that,” he mumbles. “But… thank you. I appreciate it.”

Chris nods. “Yeah, no problem.” Then, testing the waters, he adds, “Are we cool?”

The younger smiles at him, but this time it isn’t forced. “We’re cool.”

Then his eyes light up. And Chris was hoping the conversation could end there, that was the _perfect_ note to end on, but Sid seemingly has more to say. So Chris can’t do much more than listen.

“How’s your essay going?”

Chris awkwardly chuckles, knowing he can’t really lie about this. “It’s uh, not so great.”

Sid grins. “Thought so. But I still want to help you with it.”

The proposition initially catches Chris off guard. As to why Sid would still want to help him out on this five pager is a total mystery to Chris. But at this point, he’ll take any help he can get. If Sid is so willing to spend time on this essay, why not give him a shot?

But what he really wants to know is _why_. Why he's so persistent on helping Chris out. “Why do you wanna help me so bad?”

The brunette seems to ponder the question for a bit, as if he hadn’t really thought much about it himself. After a short pause, he answers with something Chris isn’t particularly sure how to feel about.

“I think there’s a lot of stuff I can teach you about the world.”

**Author's Note:**

> tumblr: [sleepy-poet](https://sleepy-poet.tumblr.com)


End file.
